The Wedding Etiquette Guide: All Your Wedding Guest List Questions Get Answered
We have great news for future bride and grooms trying to navigate the confusing and emotional etiquette of wedding planning. We are dedicating a new content series on our blog aimed to help you find answers to all those burning questions: from whom to invite to your wedding to how to announce your registry and find the best suppliers.
Planning a wedding is anything but easy. And the first thing on that huge to-do list is nothing but demanding and possibly quite an emotional time, with some potential for drama. In our first etiquette wedding guide, we asked Romania based wedding planner Dana Bobeanu from Prime Time Events to answer some of the most important questions brides and grooms have when it comes one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding: the guest list.
Obviously, you need guests to have a party. However, you shouldn’t feel obliged to ask everyone you know to attend your wedding. And when you’re planning a wedding on a budget or are limited by the venue’s capacity, deciding who gets an invitation to your wedding and who doesn’t, becomes a bit of a challenge. Hopefully, the answers below will help clarify things and make this whole wedding planning stage in your life a bit more pleasant.
All Your Wedding Guest List Questions Get Answered
We have a limited number of seats but a long list of potential guests. How do we decide whom to invite?
The fast way out of this dilemma would be to change the venue. However, if that’s not a possibility, then prioritize your list. Take into account your family (first and second-degree relatives: parents, siblings, grandparents, close aunts, uncles and cousins) and best friends.
If we invite one cousin, should we invite them all?
I’m just going to say it: No. Remember weddings nowadays are different from those our parents had. So younger couples want to feel close to those attending their special moment. Your big day should be celebrated with people you care for and have a special connection with.
Should we invite our co-workers or boss?
It all depends on how close you are with your co-workers or boss. Just because you work in the same office doesn’t mean you are obliged to invite them to your personal event. If you are considering inviting your co-workers or boss to your wedding, the etiquette says you shouldn’t invite people you don’t interact with daily at your office. You don’t want them to feel obliged to attend just because you work in the same office.
Is it ok to invite an ex to our wedding?
My honest answer is no.
We’re having a rehearsal dinner. Who should we invite?
The closest people in your wedding party: family members (parents, siblings and their spouses), bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Should we invite everyone who invited us to their weddings?
There’s not really a standard answer to this question. Couples nowadays don’t abide by this rule 100 percent, but this depends on the local etiquette (if it’s a small town with a tight community for instance) and on who’s involved in the wedding (oftentimes, parents feel like it’s their duty to bring people to their kids’ weddings).
Can we invite someone to the shower / pre-wedding party, but not to the actual wedding?
This is usually the case when the guest can’t make it to the wedding itself. If you’re not planning on having a person attending your wedding, then why would you invite him or her to a shower? Just to avoid hurt feelings, if you’re inviting someone to your shower, make sure you’re inviting them to the actual wedding reception too.
How about the wedding ceremony? Should we invite all our guests to that?
Yes. It’s a special moment for you as a couple and for your guests to be able to attend that ceremony.
Who gets a plus-one? Should everyone who is married or in a relationship get one?
The answer is definitely yes. I believe it would make it a lot easier for your guests to have a good time if they know they have a plus one on their invitation. And the reason is very simple. If they don’t know anybody else at your party then they could bring their partner, spouse or a friend to keep them company.
How do we handle situations when our guests what to bring people we don’t know or whom we don’t want present to our wedding?
There is no easy answer to this question. If you’re planning for an intimate reception, be honest with your guests and make sure you mention something on the invitation, but in the friendliest way possible.
Do we send only save-the-dates or the wedding invitations too? What’s the rule of thumb here?
In short, it all depends on how much time you have left before the big day. Save-the-dates are usually sent when you have a long time to go before the actual wedding day. And if you’re sending those, you should also be sending wedding invitations. The rule of thumb varies, but generally, if your guests have already received save-the-dates then you can send them wedding invites two or three months before the event,
Can we send a digital invitation instead of a print one?
Definitely. It’s a trend that’s on the rise. However, you should take into account one thing: all of your guests should be able to receive and see your digital invitation. Not everyone is tech savvy so that could be a challenge.
If you have more questions about the guest list for your wedding
This is it for our first wedding etiquette guide. If you have more questions about the guest list for your wedding, feel free to contact us in the comment form below or contact wedding planner Dana on her Facebook page, here.
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